February 26, 2007
Gas Leak
Everyone knows you have to burp a baby...and every baby care book shows you how...but no one ever talks about how to fart a baby! Enough with the prudish double speak - here is a handy how-to-fart-your-baby guide.
Step 1: Assess your baby's belly. If poking the belly provokes spitting up, farting your baby is probably not your first priority. If your baby's belly is tight like a little drum, proceed to step 2.
Step 2: After some vigorous bicycling (we don't have to explain bicycling, do we?), grasp your baby's deliciously chubby little thighs and squish them against the tight little belly, until you hear the sound of victory.
Step 3: Change diaper!
(for anyone taking this seriously as any type of legitimate baby care advice, please stop! we are seriously irreverent.)
Posted by Marlene at February 26, 2007 09:15 PM